“Hold please, let me transfer you to the Breast Line.”
That was my introduction into this world of breast cancer and breast care. I was calling for a mammogram and ultrasound, and I was put on hold to talk to a breast specialist on the breast line.
The breast line. The breast line. There was something so funny about being transferred to “the breast line” to me. I continue to giggle about it over a week later.
Do I think cancer is funny? No, absolutely not. Cancer is scary and horrible. Having cancer is anything but funny. I am scared shitless and completely overwhelmed right now. But I am a person who finds the lighter side of a situation; the more stressful or terrifying, the more I look for whatever shred of humor I can to help me get through it.
I’m finding that people don’t think I should do that anymore now that I have cancer. Apparently a person with cancer should be somber, serious, or maybe even morose in all of their interactions. Maybe they think I should constantly be in tears? I don’t know.
I have a news flash for you:
Me, before cancer = Sarcastic, fun, funny person who finds a way to laugh in almost any situation.
Me, during cancer = Sarcastic, fun, funny person who finds a way to laugh in almost any situation.
If I can’t laugh, then I will curl up into a ball and cry a sea of tears that will drown you all. If I can’t laugh, then the deep anger I have over this situation will spill out and burn every person around me. So I choose to find humor in anything I can, including in this ridiculous situation where I have breast cancer yet I feel perfectly fine. Yes, “the breast line” is funny to me. Yes, the typo on the patient form from one of the best cancer institutes in the nation totally amuses me (see the above photo).
If you see a smile on my face, don’t mistake that as me being happy I have cancer or that I think cancer is funny. (I’m not a psychopath, after all.) No one is more serious about my health than I am. But I choose laughter over tears. It’s who I am – with or without cancer.